Please stop saying children are the future of the Church! - Some thoughts on young families in Church

One of the many joyful and inspiring things I experience as a parish priest is seeing young families come to Mass together. There are so many pressures these days on family life and countless things that compete for the Sunday morning slot that I think it is both a heroic and beautiful thing when I see parents with their children at Mass.

It is with some sadness, then, when I hear the occasional grumblings, albeit from a minority, that do not approve of children’s presence or young voices being heard at Mass. It’s not that I’m a fan of Mass be readily disturbed by screaming children.  If a child (or an adult for that matter!) is having a tantrum then they should of course be taken out until they calm down. Most parent’s do this instinctively and are very good at it, in fact I can’t recall an occasion when this has not happened in a Mass that I have celebrated. I have heard many horror stories, thankfully not in my parish, of people telling parents off, making them feel unwelcome and even, on occasion, priests stopping in the middle of the Mass and calling children or parents to account.

One of the things that I have tried to introduce in my own parish recently is a greater use and awareness of time of silence and quite in and around the celebration Mass. This is not at odds with the welcome that as a parish and as a priest I extend to families. This is because the kind of silence that I encourage (and the kind of silence that is conducive to the liturgy) is not supposed to be an absolute void of sound, but rather the creation of space in which to hear God and prepare our hearts to meet him, which we can create by the absence of endless nattering.

The heart of the issue, as I see it, is whether we take our Baptism seriously or not. Catholic teaching is clear that at Baptism several things happen: we are washed clean of the stain of original sin, we are born again in the waters of Baptism, dying with Christ in order to share his resurrection and we are grafted on to the Body of Christ – the Church. Baptism, which is a free and unmerited grace from God, is the first Sacrament of Initiation, in other words it’s how we become Catholic Christians. Baptism leaves an indelible (permanent) mark on the person’s soul, it can never be repeated, and it means that we belong to Christ. Baptism is how we are born into the Church and all the baptised…that is ALL the baptised, are on a level playing field. This means that no member of the Body of Christ, (the Church) is more valuable or more special than any other. The eldest member, the youngest member, the fittest member, the sickest member, the saintly member, the sinful member, all are equal before God and all have their place in the Church. Children and young people are not “the future of the Church” as many people seem to enthusiastically say. Children and young people along with every other member of the Church are the Present of the Church, the Church of today!  As such they must have a rightful place in the public worship of the Body of Christ.

The Church’s public worship is the liturgy, and our most common experience of the liturgy is when we participate in the source and summit of the Christian the faith – the Eucharist (Mass). It’s important to remember that the Eucharist is always an action of the whole Body of Christ, the whole Church: The Church universal, the Church visible, the Church invisible, the local Church, the Church Triumphant, the Church Suffering, all of these realities coincide in every celebration of the Eucharist. This is an important point that needs to be grasped – The Eucharist, The Mass is not a personal prayer. We do not go to Mass as a consumer simply looking at what ‘we can get out of it’. We go to Mass primarily because we are members of the Body of Christ and at Mass, where we are nourished with the Body of Christ we become more fully, the saints that God has called us to be. And he calls us, that’s US to be saints!  That is, he calls a people, a Church, a community. He does not call individuals to isolation but a people to communion. Communion with each other and communion with Him!

The people who grumble at having their private prayers disturbed at Mass, have, however unwittingly, failed to grasp this point: that the Mass is not about you or me, it’s about us! Silent prayer and individual reflection are essential to develop one’s faith, but we should not expect that at Mass. Personal prayer happens apart from the liturgy, is nourished by the liturgy and flows from the liturgy,  but the liturgy,  especially the Eucharist, is never a personal prayer.

If we are tempted to moan or grumble at the young child who merely is doing what a young child does (making a bit of noise) we would do well to remind ourselves that our shared Baptism means that they have just as much right to be in Church as we do and our shared public worship is in fact a richer experience because of it.

When all is said and done, Christian charity should always be our guide. Balance is always needed: If children are throwing a tantrum then the sensible and charitable thing to do it to take them outside. But tantrums aside, we must all as the family of God, be welcoming, compassionate, and tolerant of a little noise from time to time. I have heard people complain that there aren’t any young people in the Church and then moan about the behaviour of young children in the same breath! Well it’s not rocket science folks!  If children don’t feel welcome, they probably won’t feel welcome as young people either! As a Church, as a Christian community, we must always be compassionate. Being a parent is hard, and being a Christian parent is a real challenge in today’s world. Parents must feel welcome to attend Mass with their children, not least because they need to be nourished by the Mass as much as anyone does. Older members of our parish have so much to offer and can be a real support to younger families by acting as spiritual grandparents in the community. All of us, old and young, are members of the one family of Christ and it behoves us to have compassion on each other, especially those who are more vulnerable members of the flock and that can include young families.

In the end, we must as ever follow the example of our Master who said: “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” Mt 19:14

Ordinary Grace - The Joy of Baptism

When someone is seriously ill and is in danger of death, the normal process for Christian initiation is dispensed with and any priest can Baptise, Confirm and receive someone into the Catholic Church. Yesterday evening I had the great privilege of doing exactly this for my step-grandfather, Ian. He is sadly, extremely unwell and we are not sure how long he has left. He was very emotional yet a deep joy and peace settled over the three of us (My grandmother, Ian and I) as we began the sacramental celebration.

 It was a strange going back to Peterborough hospital. Just over eight years ago, I rushed to the hospital from Norwich to be at the death bed of my paternal grandfather. One of the most beautiful and powerful moments of my priesthood was experienced that night as I anointed him and, gathered with my grandmother, father, auntie and uncle, we prayed my grandfather through his final journey to God. The parallels were not lost on me: I was heading to the same hospital, rushing across the diocese to see another grandfather and to minister to him, this time, however, was also different.   Apart from not driving through a snowstorm, I knew that Ian’s situation was slightly different. Ian and I had talked at various points over the years about his desire to become a Catholic. In recent years Ian, however, had suffered from dementia and struggled with deafness so it was difficult to envisage how he could join a traditional RCIA programme and prepare for baptism. Not being his parish priest, and not sure how to proceed, I confess to not being overly proactive in doing anything about it. Partly because I wasn’t sure how serious he was and partly because, as a busy parish priest, I live away from family and I don’t see them as much as I should.  

It is with great joy and relief that God granted me the grace to baptise Ian. As he resolutely and enthusiastically professed his faith in Jesus and his Church he seemed to gain strength and peace. God works with what he’s got! Through the faith of my grandmother, mother, and I, God has reached Ian, and for that I am truly thankful. 

Reflecting on this experience, one is struck by both the ordinariness and extraordinariness of God’s grace in the sacraments. If you were an onlooker looking in, the whole affair would seem very mundane if not a bit archaic: a few words were said, water was poured, hands were laid in prayer, oil was used for anointing and what looked like bread was consumed. Yet what occurred in these ancient gestures, handed on and administered by the Church in the name of Christ was anything but mundane. New and divine life poured through Ian, yesterday as he was regenerated in the waters in baptism. He was strengthened and sealed with the Holy Spirit and nourished by the Bread of Life as Jesus entered him in Holy Communion. Yesterday evening my step-grandfather became part of the Catholic Church, he was grafted onto the Body of Christ and became a member of the People of God. He enjoys a relationship that cannot be destroyed by death, indeed our prayer is that as he died in with Christ in the waters of Baptism, he will share with Christ in the joy of his resurrection. 

The sacraments are not simple rituals or gestures but privileged moments of grace. The transformation that took part in Ian was tangible and the atmosphere at the end of our visit significantly different to that at the beginning. Sometimes I think, even for a priest, it takes moments like this to remind ourselves of the power of sacraments and the great gift of the priesthood. 

Yet we shouldn’t be surprised that God works through the apparent ordinariness of the sacraments. It’s basically his M.O! Two thousand years ago God became Man as Jesus Christ. People then, as they do now, failed to recognise the glory and power of God, they could not see past the sublime humanity of Jesus. If people passed the stable in Bethlehem, what did they see? The God who keeps all thing in being or a teenage mother and a newborn baby? In fact, for thirty years or so of Jesus, by all accounts, lived an ordinary life. Even during the three years of his earthly ministry, few if any people truly recognised that Jesus was God made man. Few people knew then as now that when they saw Jesus they saw the fullness of God, who loved them, created them, and sustained them. Jesus’ very earthly life was one that combined the ordinary with the extraordinary.  Only with eyes of faith does the ‘veil lift’ and we see the glory of God. The word become flesh and dwelt amongst us (Jn 1:14) Eternity and time, Word and Spirit, Glory and Flesh coincide in the person of Jesus Christ. The incarnation – the en-fleshment of God, is God’s way of working, and the sacraments are a continuation of this profound and beautiful truth. 

Today is the 7th August 2019, Ian has been a Catholic for a day now, please pray for him, my grandmother and my family as he continues his journey in this life in the joyful hope of being with God in the next.